Less Of Me

February 2012

I've never been skinny.  However, last February (2012) I was at my heaviest.  Now, let me start by saying that self confidence has never really been a problem for me so, to be honest, even though I was heavy, I didn't let it affect my view of myself.  I've always been comfortable in my own skin and, for that, I am thankful.  However, in November, 2011 I had a revelation.  My dad had been in the hospital for about a month at that time (there were numerous hospital visits prior to this one) and, at the time, he was in a rehab facility.  I had gone to see him one day and he was not well.  When I got there he was in the cafeteria but I could tell that something was bothering him so I asked what was up.  He said to me "Shelly, I don't want you to end up like me someday."  See, my dad had a myriad of health issues.  He was diabetic, his kidneys were failing, he had breathing issues and on and on.  It was not a good situation and it occurred to me at that time, "this is where my life is headed."  At the same time I was thinking "there is NO WAY I will be able to change" (my habits, my love of food, my non-existent exercise regime.)  Don't get me wrong, I have loads of self-discipline and once I set my mind to something chances are, it's going to happen.  But I wasn't ready to set my mind to this just yet.  I walked away from that meeting knowing I had to do something but not knowing how in the world I could make it happen.

Disneyland (January 2012)

Fast forward a few months to February, 2012.  My dad was still in the hospital, my family and I had just returned from a trip to Disneyland in California (totally fun, but EXHAUSTING at the weight I was at), and my husband (who had a little weight to lose himself) said "hey, why don't we do this cleanse that our good friends have done."  I was skeptical.  It was intense, folks.  I'm talking only eating fruit, veggies, meat (although no pork) and only brown rice for starch for 8 weeks.  After that, the plan says to start adding certain things back to your diet at a prescribed time until the cleanse was over at week 16.  But that's not all, oh no.  You had to drink a quart of water for every 50 pounds of body weight every day (and, apparently, move the hub of your household into the bathroom) PLUS there were daily SWEAT BATHS to be taken.  That's right.  Sitting in the tub in the hottest water you could stand for at least 25 minutes a day.  I begged my husband to be joking.  He was not.  I knew he couldn't do the diet on his own (way too regimented) so I reluctantly agreed to it.

Of course, for those that know me, you know my love of cooking.  I was not willing to sacrifice good food for the sake of this cleanse.  I am not good at eating what I like to call "components of food" meaning, a banana, some celery and a piece of chicken for lunch.  I wanted a composed meal (at least for lunch and dinner.)  And so began my quest to find recipes that would work for the cleanse and my "tweaking" of recipes that wouldn't work but that I could make work.  I found it a challenge but I also found it exhausting.  I have never in my life cooked 3 meals a day, 7 days a week.  I felt like I could never catch up!

During this time my dad's health continued to decline and my mom, my 2 sisters and I kept a grueling schedule of doing all our normal stuff plus spending as much time as possible with my dad (for me that meant going to the hospital at least 5 out of 7 days, sometimes 6 out of 7.)  My oldest son was in kindergarten that year and the mommy guilt was hefty.  I felt terrible for leaving him at night when he'd been away all day at school.  I am a stay at home mom and I was not used to not seeing my kiddo as much as I wanted to.  It was a rough patch, to say the least.  During that time I started to realize that I was losing weight.  I had not weighed myself before starting the cleanse as I didn't go into it intending to lose weight.  However, eating like that (as my husband and I like to say "the way God intended us to eat") naturally starting melting off the pounds.  By the time I weighed myself the first time I had lost 30 pounds!  I actually had to call my doctor's office and have them give me my weight from my last appointment to give me a starting point!  I couldn't believe it!

May 2012

July 2012

On May 10, 2012 we lost my sweet dad (and I had my first bite of chocolate in months.)  It was the hardest thing I have ever been through and I could not have gotten through it without my husband, my mom, my sisters and my wonderful friends.  If you've lost a parent you know there's nothing to say other than it totally sucks.  My dad wanted to live so badly.  He had everything to live for but his body just gave out on him.  This made me even more determined not to have this happen to me.  Since that time I have lost 100+ pounds and I am still going.  I have also started walking three miles a day, six days a week.   I can also now fit into my wedding dress (which is actually now too big) and my prom dress!

My love of cooking and eating has not changed but my view on what and how much to eat sure have!  Of course I still eat chocolate and barbecue and Chick Fil A.  And I still drink wine.  However, it's more moderation and not an everyday occurrence now.  I am excited to share my story and my recipes with you on this blog and I want you to know, if you need to lose weight, you can do it!  I never thought I could but I DID!

December 2012